Classic Example of Arbitrary Thoughts

There are things bothering me at the moment… mostly to do with work. I am not sure if I know the way out of it. That maybe also because I don’t know if I know that if there is something I need to get out of. I cannot seem to put a finger to it.

This seems to be comfortable… this job. Is that enough, being comfortable? The only person I can be really frank with is myself. And I seem to be deluding myself…like the facts are not important. Worse is when I pretend they don’t even exist.

Something quite upsetting and something that I’ve been noticing since long is that I tend to do precisely the things against which once upon a time I protested. One of them being feigning. Well, I generally am too apathetic and indifferent to even protest about anything.
That’s also besides the point.
I lost the point.

The confusion, I guess, is just a façade over all the clarity. It’s as clear as the unmuddled stream. I think I know precisely what I want. What ALL I want. Am I ashamed to admit that the non-materialistic ‘divine blasphemy’ has suddenly become so shallow and material-minded? Am I the only one who could do with a Jeep? Am I the only one dying for that famed 15,000 minutes of fame? Am I the only one who wants to go home to a person waiting to wrap me in a warm hug, who would not mind my temper tantrums, who is way too intelligent than I am (well, intelligence is relative), less shy, more objective…basically, everything that I am not. I want someone to compliment me, be the better half.

Er…that was an unintentional mad rush of mush! I’ve been devoid of that phenomenon, mostly because I’ve been inflicting myself with heavy dose of angst-filled shit, in the form of Alanis Morissette. Well, being a woman doesn’t really give much of a scope to write anything beyond that and mostly the subject that drives her kind to purgation of creativity in the form of angst filled shit is Men.

The Divine Blasphemy

. . . I'm the man in the woman
I'm the letters in a word
I'm the word in the line
I'm the line in the para
I'm the para of the story
I'm the story of the woman
I'm the woman...
I'm the divine blasphemy...