...and it drilled on!
I wish I did not whine so much in life. Has it happened to you that you went on and on just because the other person was not rolling his/her eyes and after a while it just hit you that probably they were dying to do so and the only possible thing that stopped them from doing the same was their civility? Did I just see you wince? Ah… I know how it feels. The feeling of imposing yourself on the other person without realizing because you were busy playing the suffering hero is not new for me.
I just realized it today (like I did a million other times a zillion other days) that since whining doesn’t really give me a solution/way out from the issue in hand, I might as well not whine. And how exactly do I vent my frustration? I’d read somewhere that it doesn’t really matter whether you grip the arms of the dentist’s chair or let your hands lie on your lap. The drill drills on. I don’t know if it really is applicable here but somewhere I do see a point in this line. What fat help would getting frustrated be? Except premature balding, I don’t really see a big difference in anything.So why don’t I just let my hands lie loose on my lap as ……(shudder)….the drill drills on.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Shades of blue
One of those days when everything seems to be just falling down in front of my eyes. All the dreams going down the drain. All the plans going haywire. All the faith just crumbling.
They say this is what life is made up of…ups and downs, highs and lows. So profound! Like I didn’t know that. Why do people throw such extremely deep and ponderous sentences when all you need is a listening ear and not an eternally talking mouth?
I thought listening was the easiest thing to do on earth. If you don’t want to take the pains of actually listening, you can even get away with pretending that you are listening. Just need to get a tight-lipped, knitted eye browed, look on your face and now and then give away the oriental nod just to be on the safer side. That way the other person would interpret the nod to suit his convenience.
One of those days when everything seems to be just falling down in front of my eyes. All the dreams going down the drain. All the plans going haywire. All the faith just crumbling.
They say this is what life is made up of…ups and downs, highs and lows. So profound! Like I didn’t know that. Why do people throw such extremely deep and ponderous sentences when all you need is a listening ear and not an eternally talking mouth?
I thought listening was the easiest thing to do on earth. If you don’t want to take the pains of actually listening, you can even get away with pretending that you are listening. Just need to get a tight-lipped, knitted eye browed, look on your face and now and then give away the oriental nod just to be on the safer side. That way the other person would interpret the nod to suit his convenience.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
The maze, they called her mind...
She hated complex sentences because they were the most difficult to dissect during her grammar lessons in her graduation days. Yet, if she was to be defined in one word, it would be ‘complex’. Not only did it sound cool but also that was a fact as loud as Rohit Bal's gay status.She said she is not all that perfect. He said, let me decide that. She wanted to say, “…so that you just walk away later when you discover this face of mine…the one where I throw temper tantrums and PMS is not even an excuse, when I just give you a silent treatment for no ‘obvious’ reason, when in spite of being known for my ‘I-Care-Two-Hoots’ attitude, suddenly I decide to create an issue out of some comment you made on the way I talk???”Will you walk away when you see the monster in me raise the ugly head?Will you be the calm, reassuring you always, inspite of my grumpiness?Will you read my silence over a fight as the ‘don’t talk to me’ or will you see through the façade of a strong, pig-headed girl on her way to maturity, the only difference being, she’ll never be matured enough?Will you fume at the die-hard realist in me, you being optimism-personified?Will this phase of being mad about me, be just that – a phase?I don’t know what’s the right way of saying things, dressing-up, walking or talking. I, by some miracle of His Highness ( I meant, God, the superior highness, not you), managed to survive so long without really coming in anybody’s way. I wanted to live a life of invisibility. Being non-existent (anti-thesis at its peak) for others seemed to be my focus in life. At a time when girls were at their girly best, I was trying to fit in as the anti-fit, not because it was cool, but because that way I’ll not be expected to be perfect.I wonder if you know what you’ve invited upon yourself.I just don’t have the nerves to wonder aloud.You said I am surrounded by all negative energy. Then how come it attracted such a positive character? Take back your words. I just live in the real world...and if it happens to be a little negative, then so be it.
She hated complex sentences because they were the most difficult to dissect during her grammar lessons in her graduation days. Yet, if she was to be defined in one word, it would be ‘complex’. Not only did it sound cool but also that was a fact as loud as Rohit Bal's gay status.She said she is not all that perfect. He said, let me decide that. She wanted to say, “…so that you just walk away later when you discover this face of mine…the one where I throw temper tantrums and PMS is not even an excuse, when I just give you a silent treatment for no ‘obvious’ reason, when in spite of being known for my ‘I-Care-Two-Hoots’ attitude, suddenly I decide to create an issue out of some comment you made on the way I talk???”Will you walk away when you see the monster in me raise the ugly head?Will you be the calm, reassuring you always, inspite of my grumpiness?Will you read my silence over a fight as the ‘don’t talk to me’ or will you see through the façade of a strong, pig-headed girl on her way to maturity, the only difference being, she’ll never be matured enough?Will you fume at the die-hard realist in me, you being optimism-personified?Will this phase of being mad about me, be just that – a phase?I don’t know what’s the right way of saying things, dressing-up, walking or talking. I, by some miracle of His Highness ( I meant, God, the superior highness, not you), managed to survive so long without really coming in anybody’s way. I wanted to live a life of invisibility. Being non-existent (anti-thesis at its peak) for others seemed to be my focus in life. At a time when girls were at their girly best, I was trying to fit in as the anti-fit, not because it was cool, but because that way I’ll not be expected to be perfect.I wonder if you know what you’ve invited upon yourself.I just don’t have the nerves to wonder aloud.You said I am surrounded by all negative energy. Then how come it attracted such a positive character? Take back your words. I just live in the real world...and if it happens to be a little negative, then so be it.
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